Late at night, in an unnamed U.S. city, a solitary man sits at a bus stop. A pregnant woman runs by, pursued by a man with a gun. With reluctance, the man at the bus stop rescues her and assists with the baby's delivery, while additional pursuers fire at them, including the gang's particularly nasty leader, an intuitive man named Hertz. Our hero, known only as Smith, determines to save the child and find out why Hertz wants the baby dead. At a local bordello, he tries to employ a lactating hooker to watch the child, but things quickly escalate, and this makeshift family is soon on the run. Heavy metal music calms the baby. Why? A laboratory, gun factory, and presidential campaign all figure in Smith's quest for the child's safe deliverance.
A man named Mr. Smith delivers a woman's baby during a shootout, and is then called upon to protect the newborn from the army of gunmen.
This was a perfect, awesome action movie that I thoroughly enjoyed, right up to the ham-handed political message that the director felt compelled to put in. I don't care how you feel about gun control (I'm against it, so I guess it made it worse) but the way it was put in it didn't even fit, and was, in my opinion, completely unnecessary. I enjoyed the rest of the movie after it, but that part kind of killed the buzz for me. Why do directors feel they need to make the audience think, or that they have to get some kind of message across? Especially when you're putting a message about gun control in a movie like this. Other than that, one of the best action movies I've seen in a long while.
Shoot &#39;Em Up is the adolescent version of jangling shiny keys in front of a baby. Except instead of shiny keys, it&#39;s people getting shot in extravagantly choreographed fashion.<br/><br/>The story opens with a guy named Smith (Clive Owen) watching a pregnant woman in labor waddle past, running away from a guy with a gun. Smith goes to help the woman and ends up in a gun battle where he blows away a whole bunch of men and delivers the baby at the same time. He even shoots the umbilical cord to cut it after the baby&#39;s born. Yeah, it&#39;s that kind of movie. The kind where the good guy can shoot the testicles off a flea at 100 yards and the bad guys have the aim of nearsighted Sleestaks or Imperial Stormtroopers with their helmets on backwards.<br/><br/>Anyway, the mother gets killed and Smith winds up protecting the baby from a seemingly endless number of gun toting thugs, all led by this guy named Hertz (Paul Giamatti). Hertz is sort of like this evil Sherlock Holmes (and no, I don&#39;t mean he&#39;s like Professor Moriarty) who is constantly on his cell phone, talking to his wife and kids back home. Smith takes the baby to a lactating hooker named Donna (Monica Belucci). Smith and Donna used to have a relationship that wasn&#39;t all business and she refuses to help him or the baby at first. That lasts about 3 minutes before Smith, Donna and the baby are all on the run from Hertz and his army of incompetent gunmen. It turns out the baby is part of a scheme involving a gun control-loving U.S. Senator and a gun manufacturer. The scheme doesn&#39;t really make any sense, but it&#39;s just an excuse to have Smith shoot a truly ludicrous number of people on his way to saving the baby, Donna and his own soul.<br/><br/>This movie is like a live-action version of a Looney Tunes cartoon. Except instead of an anvil falling on Wile E. Coyote&#39;s head, people get shot and blood explodes out of them like they were shaken cans of pop. Smith is constantly chomping on carrots in an obvious allusion to Bugs Bunny. And Paul Giamatti actually looks more than a bit like a bearded Elmer Fudd. So, I guess if you ever wanted to see a cartoon where Bugs is a mass murderer and Elmer gropes the breasts of a dead woman, this is the movie for you.<br/><br/>For myself, I don&#39;t understand the point of this movie in particular and this sort of alleged entertainment in general. It is at its core, violence pornography. I don&#39;t mean violent pornography, where women get beat up or something like that. What I mean is that just as a porno movie shows you sex to get you excited, Shoot &#39;Em Up shows you intricately staged acts of simulated violence to elicit very much the same reaction. This sort of thing shows up in waaaay too many action and horror movies nowadays, where the movie doesn&#39;t want you to have an emotional reaction to the character who&#39;s either suffering from or inflicting the violence. It wants you to have an emotional reaction to the violence itself. I&#39;m not Dr. Phil or anything, but there&#39;s something messed up about that.<br/><br/>Putting the generally skeevy nature of this film to the side, Shoot &#39;Em Up does start out fairly strong. The first 20 minutes or so reimagines the action movie as music video. It&#39;s all striking images and nonstop movement, set to a continuous dance mix. After that, though, the movie loses its way. Oh, there&#39;s still some crazy scenes after that, like a skydiving shootout, Smith gunning down a slew of attackers while he never stops having sex with Donna and a MacGyver/A-Team scenario where Smith has to construct a series of insanely complicated booby traps, but it falls back into being a traditional, clichéd action flick. We&#39;re supposed to care about Donna because she lost her baby and we&#39;re supposed to care about Smith because he lost his family, but these characters are nothing but cartoons. As over the top as some of the film is, it fails because it doesn&#39;t go far enough. Instead of just being completely absurd, like having the baby pick up a gun and start blasting away, the film tries to be serious and dramatic like an ordinary movie. But the cartoonish stuff keeps you from caring about the ordinary stuff, and the ordinary moments only emphasize how dumb the cartoonish elements of the story are.<br/><br/>As far as the acting goes, Giamatti chews a little scenery and Clive Owen treats everything in the movie with the same intense seriousness, which actually makes his performance even funnier. Monica Belucci, though, is not good at all. She can barely spit out some of the dialog and, frankly, she looks like a real hooker waiting around for the director to finish so she can get paid.<br/><br/>And I don&#39;t know if I&#39;m just getting older, but I&#39;m really starting to get annoyed with how movies like Shoot &#39;Em Up take the laws of physics and run them through a paper shredder. I&#39;m not even that scientifically knowledgeable, but there&#39;s a garbage truck load of things in the movie that are so insultingly impossible that even the Mythbusters wouldn&#39;t bother with them. Maybe it&#39;s just me, but when absolutely anything can happen in a movie, regardless of logic or the physical limitations of space and time, then nothing that happens in the movie can have any meaning.<br/><br/>I can&#39;t really say that Shoot &#39;Em Up is a bad film because it kind of goes beyond the concepts of good and bad. It is what it is. If you like this movie, I don&#39;t want to judge you…but it would be cheaper for you to simply sit in your easy chair and jangle some keys in front of your face.
Its pulpy violent excess will tip over…into slightly more excessive excess. That's its silly, scuzzball joy.
Opening shootout / birth scene - &quot;Breed&quot; by <a href="/name/nm1110321/">Nirvana</a>.<br/><br/>Rooftop shootout - &quot;Joker and the Thief&quot; by Wolfmother.<br/><br/>Smith enters brothel - &quot;Dirty Laundry (Skeewiff Remix)&quot; by Bitter:Sweet.<br/><br/>DQ&#39;s introduction - &quot;Money&quot; by Jesca Hoop.<br/><br/>The music video on TV that Oliver likes - &quot;Zen&quot; by Strapping Young Lad.<br/><br/>Smith&#39;s warehouse shootout / jump down staircase - &quot;Ace of Spades&quot; by Motorhead.<br/><br/>Band playing in metal bar - &quot;Landscape&quot; by Marr.<br/><br/>Smith and DQ have sex - &quot;Patient Eye&quot; by Midnight Movies.<br/><br/>Sex shootout - &quot;Coral Den&quot; by Midnight Movies.<br/><br/>Gun factory shootout &quot;Warehouse Shootout&quot; by Paul Haslinger.<br/><br/>Car chase - &quot;Switch On&quot; by Paul Oakenfold.<br/><br/>Smith jumps out of the plane / freefall shootout - &quot;If You Want Blood, You Got It&quot; by AC/DC.<br/><br/>Smith escapes from torture room - &quot;Private Hell&quot; by Iggy Pop and Green Day.<br/><br/>End scene / end credits - &quot;Kickstart My Heart&quot; by Motley Crue.
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